15th

Anna: "I like your grandma"
Darcy: "Well... she died"
Rebecca: "Grandmas do that sometimes."

14

Zoe: "Excuse me, why don't you eat your spinach instead of your girlfriend?"

Lucky Numba 13

Ashley: "I drew a really good tree once."

Zoe: "Anthropology is good if you enjoy banging your head against the table."

12th post

Joycelyn, in the car, dancing gangsta while sitting: "When I came to America I was not this ghetto!"

11th Post

Zoe (on the phone with her mom): "Do you wanna know the last time I washed my towels, Mom? ... January. I know it's gross! I don't get blood on my towels, Mom! I know it's gross! I feel disgusting every time I take a shower. That's not supposed to happen. You keep saying it's disgusting... I haven't cleaned my sheets either.... I know! Ok, I will. I'll call you when I've washed them so you'll touch me again. Ok... bye..."

10

Zoe (on the phone with her mom): Maybe that's what I'll do when I grow up... be a Zorse breeder. ...I'll hire someone to pick up the poop."

Post 9

Zoe: "I'll have an illustrious summer affair with a locksmith and he'll make us keys. So we can
get into each other's buildings. Does anyone know any attractive locksmiths?"

Zoe: "Shit you hit my junk! Those are sensitive goods!"

Zoe: "Bring back a baby eagle, bitch! I want it! We could keep it in our room and use it to
send messages."

Zoe: "I am a warm, dry dingbat!"

Post 8

Zoe: "What? You're making fun of me because I wore diapers and thought I had an immaculate conception!?"

Ashley: "Mmmmm.... tastes like my grandma." (Talking about Fig Newtons)

7th Post

Zoe: "I would not poop on a couch! That's disgusting! What kind of person do you think I am?!"

Post 6

Joycelyn, talking about wasting phone minutes: "See? This is why I don't use my minutes! I save them for an emergency, like when I'm stuck in the bathroom and there is no toilet paper!"

The 5th Post

“I thought those were cats, but they’re definitely just plastic bags.” –Anna

“There is a tree directly behind you.” –Darcy in her sleep

“Forks are overrated. Eating lettuce with my fingers makes me feel closer to nature, like I just pulled it off a tree.” –Zoe

“I moved quickly through the ice, and now I am here!” –Zoe

“I should just live in the wilderness and eat leaves off of trees, like a giraffe.” –Zoe

“That beast is fuckin scary!” –Darcy

“There’s not enough boys” –Darcy in her sleep

“Wouldn’t it be funny if we hit a deer?” –Zoe, past midnight on drive back to dorm

“I wanna be old, but I’m afraid it’s a scam.” –Big Z

“I’m tired. I’ll do anything when I’m tired.” –Big Z

“I’m going to touch your hair; there is something in it. … It was a spider.” –lady behind Zoe at nobel

“That has numbers in it!! I can’t comprehend that!!” –Ashley, talking about how many days are left until Christmas

“I wasn’t saying that your boobs are disproportionate, I was just saying that if I was a man I would probably be a sick bastard and just stare at your boobs.” –Zoe to Darcy

The Fourth Post

Zoe: "I just want to make a bunch of waffles and put them on my legs... and then eat them"

Zoe: "Is that an angel? Blowing a trumpet on your cup?" Darcy: "Uh... no. It's a jazz cup."

The third post

Zoe: (In singsong voice) "There's an imaginary person here, but you can see their boobies popping out!"

The Second Post

Special thanks to Susan for having a Zoe quote saved on her computer.

Zoe: "If you didn't know what this was, would you touch this?"

The First Post

Today, Our Nighttime Caf adventure:
Zoe: "I'm a modest gangster!"

Zoe: (sneezes) "OH MY GOD! I HAVE TO PEE"

Zoe: "With Zesty chips comes great responsibility"

Yesterday:
Zoe:"All we need is a 50's housewife to clean our shithole!"

Zoe: "It was awkward and sticky all over my face!"

Me: "I just want to eat these chords for breakfast! Zoe: "Or drink them like an iced coffee!"

Tuesday:
Zoe's thoughts on pay day: "It used to be like, oh, I'm another month older, I'm going to die soon, but now it's like oh, money, I like money."

Sunday:
Me: "I can definitely see your ass right now" Zoe: "Enjoy it, Enjoy it!"